faith

most nights I don't sleep through the night. I get up and go to the bathroom--sometimes several times. sometimes I'm too hot. sometimes I'm too cold. sometimes I wake up from a nightmare. 

I go to another room, trying not to wake Jenny or our cat. I take a small flashlight and read the 23rd psalm.

The LORD is my shepherd;
there is nothing I lack.
In green pastures he makes me lie down;
to still waters he leads me;
he restores my soul.
He guides me along right paths

for the sake of his name.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil, for you are with me;
your rod and your staff comfort me.
You set a table before me
in front of my enemies;

You anoint my head with oil;

my cup overflows.

Indeed, goodness and mercy will pursue me
all the days of my life;
I will dwell in the house of the LORD

for endless days.

Could God be as angry with me as I am with myself?

not if I read the 23rd psalm.

there are so many things that I don't understand.

do I believe the 23rd psalm?

He said to them, “Because of your little faith. Amen, I say to you, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”  Matthew 17:20

do I believe in the God of the 23rd psalm, Matthew 17:20, the prodigal son (Luke 15: 11-32), etc.?

sometimes I wonder.